short story

She sat up in the bed with a sad smile. the unshed tears reflected the sunlight that streamed through the one window in nandans room.she had to get dressed. she just wanted t o lie down and and watch the world go by.but she didn want to to sleep here...she couldnt afford the luxury of such support.she looked over at nandan.he was asleep.she touched his cheek and got up to dress.she washed her face ,brushed her hair and applied kajal.she picked up her bag and her wind breaker giving the room a last glance to frame the scene in her mind....cos she knew wat she would predictabily impulsively do next-- keep him at a distance.she walked back to college with a blank,cold face betraying no emotions...yet a smile played hide and seek.....
what had made her do this,she wondered.she held the cigarette with her forefinger and thumb and looked out of the window.she looked at the clouds trying hard to repress the desire to touch the clouds....to fall into the sky.
she remembered the way he looked at her.....and the way she looked at him...what a cute couple.she watched them from across the room.she watched them and remembered what they had individually told her,bout each other....about how he made her life easier,how he was patient with her and how hw made her smile when she was feelin low.he told her about how he loved the way she spoke,her smile and how when push came to shove she was there with him,for him...helping him out.
But why did this make her smile and cry at the same time?because she knew that tomorrow if she died on a road somewhere nobody would even know about it.she smiled cos she was happy for the couple in love,but she wanted to cry because of the inner conflict in her had taken control.the conflict between her two contradictary natures-- the need to be independent,yet the need to belong.
After she left the happy couple she left college in a hurry.She walked up to nandans apartment and knocked on his door.Nandan was home because he had just returned from his tour of new york,san francisco and chicago.
Nandan cursed loudly,as he woken up from deep sleep.he just wanted to cover his ears and aleep but he decided to get up and check who was at the door.he was surprised to see lakshmi standing there...what was more surprising were the emotions projected on her face...they were like shadows under your bed.they stared at each other.she looked up at him and said a cursory hi that was swallowed wit the tears that were welling up.she then did the most surprisingly expected thing- she stepped forward,stood on her toes,held him by his shirt collar and kissed him.....